Chris Isaak: [Singing] "I'm sorry..."

You should have added room service, man. We could have had lobster.

Off-Camera Voice: [Male] I'll be in the other room. If you guys need anything, holler.

Chris Isaak: Okay. Alright.

Torgen: So. Welcome.

CI: Good to be here.

Torgen: Good to have you here.

CI: This is the easiest way - This is the way to do an interview, ya know. Actually, we could have just laid around. I should have just stayed in my bedroom. Then you should have just come over and sat on the bed. Then I wouldn't have had to get up.

Torgen: I'm sorry. I have a room here, too. So I have to get up, too.

CI: I could have met you at yours, man. One of us could have slept in.

Torgen: [laughing] Oh well...well, well...So! What's up?

CI: Um. Just- Oh, I heard somebody singin'. Wasn't me.

Torgen: Who was that?

CI: Just got got here. Still jetlagged. We were, like, San Francisco, seems like 3 hours ago and all of a sudden I'm in Hamburg. Every once-in-a-while...if I flip then I'll tell ya.

Torgen: Okay. Okay.

CI: But you've been up all night. So, we'll be able to talk to each other.

T: Good. Good. So, um...[cameraman swings right to empty bed and mumbles]

Huh?

Cameraman: There's some [macadamia] nuts. [Edit break] Small interruption but we are online again.

CI: Online! [strumming guitar]

Torgen: ....internt...If it was possible would you put yourself in a freezer and come back in a hundred years?

CI: [Deep sigh] Well, I'd rather not. I don't want to be in a freezer for a hundred years. Ya, I'd come back. You know, there's a famous American baseball player. I'll boil this story down. I really don't watch baseball. His name is Teddy Williams. You ever hear that name? [Torgen doesn't know] People who watch baseball know this guy. His baseball, when he signs it, is like a big collectible. I met him and I met his son. Ted Williams, when they said he died, they said he froze his head. So that maybe later he could come back with him...and..."

T: Attach it to another body.

CI: Ya, that's what people do. Just freeze the head. And his son was, like, the handsomest guy you ever wanted...I mean...I met him and thought, geez, he ought to be a movie star. Good lookin' kid - big strong guy. He wanted to be a baseball player, too. Last time I was in town - the town that they're from - I said, "How's Ted's son doin'?" He's like thirty-five or something like that and they said, "He died."

T: Oh.

CI: He died. Like, he got cancer and died. I was like...They think they froze him, too. I was like, ya know, at least it gives you some hope when you're dyin'. Well, maybe you come back or somethin'. I don't know. Maybe it's a false hope but...man, when you came back it would be sad, too, 'cause your parents are gonna be dead - all your friends gonna be dead."

T: And they all grieved already.

CI: Ya. And if I came back in a hundred years the only thing I could say is maybe my car would be paid off.

T: [laughs] There ya go. Um, do you own a sweatsuit?

CI: Ya, I got one but I don't hardly ever wear it.

T: Good for you.

CI: It's a long story.

T: Oh, really!

CI: About 15 years ago we went on a bus tour. It was our first time we went on a bus tour. And then, when you drive in a bus all night, you pull up in these bus stops - you get out and they fill the bus with gas and you have 20 minutes to shop. So, everyone has to jump up and put their clothes on. Somebody said, "hey, why don't we get sweat clothes. Like the sweats you can put those on and walk around in them and you don't have to change your clothes." I said, "Okay". I went into this place to get it. I went in with my, uh, my buddy at the time who was doing the sound. And I went in and there was only two sweat suits. One really ugly one and one nice lookin' one and we were both the same size. And I went, 'awe man, I don't want to get the ugly one". I started to be the first one but he was ahead of me and he grabbed them and said, "Which one do you like?"

T: Nice.

CI: He offered me which one I wanted. And I said, I'll take the ugly one.

T: [Laughing] You're a little too nice, too.

CI: It was always a lesson to me. Like, ya know, what does that matter?

T: What's on your night stand?

CI: Say that again? What's on the night stand? Uh. Just, ya know, probably my bible and there's a gun.

T: ooo

CI: That's it. Sex toys.

T: Oh, like what?

CI: [Looks in camera] He didn't ask about the bible and he didn't ask about the gun! Just the sex toys!

T: [laughing] What-is-a-gun?

CI: Actually, the bible and the gun are the sex toys.

T: Oh my god, scary.

CI: Do you know who Bill Munrow is? The father of bluegrass music. He sang this kind, ya know...[plays guitar sings]

Well when my blue blue turns gold again
When my rainbow turns around someday

Like all kind of hillbilly. He played a lot of gospel music and stuff. When he was 80 somethin' years old he got arrested because he was beating up his 30 year old wife with a bible.

T: No way...

CI: I would've loved to have heard what the hell kind of conversation was that.

T: [laughing]

CI: [Mock voice] You're a whore! I'm gonna...[pretends to hit someone]

hitting her with a bible! [turns to camera] Religion, bringing people together.

T: Or, Bringing a bible and a gun together. [giggles] Are you a religious person?
Or was that just a joke?

CI: No. I don't, uh, I don't hold a lot of hope that after I'm gone that I'm gonna see another world and another life. I would love it to be so. And I don't laugh at people who do believe it. I don't laugh at them because I envy them. Ya know what I mean?

T: Ya.

CI: I'm still, I'm still lookin' and um...I'm still lookin'. Ya know, but I don't laugh at anybody's religion because I'm lookin', too.

T: Good. Who's the most important person in your life?

CI: My mom.

T: Is she still alive?

CI: Ya, my mom is still alive and she's, uh, ya know my dad and my mom have been married 50 something years and, uh, I love them all equally but my mom I talk to all the time. I call my dad and I go, 'Dad, how ya doin'?' He goes, 'Good, I love you. Here's your mom.'

T: [laughs] Sounds like my dad.

CI: Ya, that's what it is...Your dad loves you but he won't tak your phone calls.

T: Cute. Would you give up sex in exchange for world peace for one year?

CI: [Looks at camera] I'm sorr but you people will just have to put up with a few more wars. I just couldn't do it for a year. I made it like 200 somethin' days and then I said, "hell with it".

T: You counted.

CI: Ya know, ya, sure I would if it was going to make world peace. Sure I would. As much touring as I'm doing, I wouldn't be giving much sex, really.

T: [giggles] Okay. When was the last time you talked to someone from school?

CI: From like highschool, college, whatever? Ya know, I went back into town and I saw a buddy of mine from college. Not that long, maybe a month, ago. And um, I still talk to my friends from highschool and college that I know. Because I didn't move that far away. My hometown is only a 100 miles from where I live. And my family is all from this kind of farm town. And I go back there. So, when I go back into town, I bump into everybody.

T: Nice.

CI: Ya, it is nice.

T: That's cool.

CI: The people that knew you then know what kind of jerk you are. They know ya.

T: Oh, here's that Chris Isaak again.

CI: That's it.

T: Um, What's your biggest weakness?

CI: Women and that I'm cautious. I've always liked women. I don't know if that's a weakness or just that's just I like hanging out with women. When you hang out with men, the guys that I knew, they never wanted to talk about what liked to talk about. If you start talking about personal things they feel uptight. If you talk about what you think about your life or things like that. They'd look at me like, 'do you know who won the football game?' It's like I don't want to talk about that. And cautious...I probably could have had more fun and more adventures...and stuff...but I always...I come from a hard workin' family...and I always like...in 20 somethin' years, I've never missed a show.

T: 20 years...wow. That's good though.

CI: I probably should have gambled a little more or done something else like that but I just didn't have it in me.

***

Do you ever have trust issues? Like, is it hard for you to trust someone?

No, I think I trust some people much. I've had women that I've trusted a lot. Um, I trusted them so much I was going to marry one of them then she turned around and sued me. Ha ha ha.

Ah, no way. That's not fair.

I didn't think so.

He he he.

I gave her some money and she went away. But I kept the ring.

Good.

I got that out of the deal.

You can always give it to someone else.

That's right. No, i'd get someone else, they get their own ring.

Okay.

Um, what's your biggest strength?

I can outwork a dog and a pony. I mean, I just...I can work and work and work and work. I'm good for that. And I'm pretty loyal. Ya know, like, I have my band. We'v been together more than twenty years. Same guys. When I work with somebody I don't fire anybody. You gotta to die to get away from me.

That's cool. That's nice though. It's almost like the Rolling Stones.

More power to 'em. When I see that they've been around all those years. I think "God, when they walk backstage and stuff they have to look at each other and go..." ya know? That's a lot of stories there.

Mm hm. Um, when was the last time you did something embarrassing?

Probably about 25 minutes ago. I did an interview and they asked me questions for the interview but you weren't allowed to give an answer. You had to make a face. Ya, I know! Somebody thought that up. I guess it's for a magazine. So, they would ask you, 'How do you feel about your last record?' and you had to go [smiles at the camera]. Ya know, whatever. And that's ok for some questions but then at some point the guy who was asking the questions, who was writing them, really, I don't think was thinking that these have to be answered by face. He's going, 'Do you support the U.S. intervention of the troops..blah blah blah...of the war. And I'm going you can't answer like heavy theoretical questions with a face. ya know what I mean.

That's weird. I thought I was weird with my questions!

Nah. No. You're easy.

So what's the most important thing in your life?

Thing? Um. I'm probably holding it. [Taps guitar] This. Ya, I can't think of anything I've got that's very important. Even my guitars and stuff [shrugs] I'm not real tied to it. 'Cause I travel so much, eventually you see everything you have get broken, lost, stolen. You know what I mean? So...

You don't get too attached.

You don't. You kinda think you kind of hold on to stuff, that's great, but I kinda know in the back of my head, some day this stuff gets taken away from ya. Ya know.

That's interesting. I feel the same thing. Like I'm very bad with electronical stuff.

Uh huh.

When anything breaks. I'm like, so it broke. Ya know, big deal.

You didn't expect it to live forever.

I just have to get something new then.

I have the first tape recorder I ever had. I bought it for like 8 bucks or something and I still have it. I hold on to stuff and I don't break it and stuff. But, I mean, you know it's going to go. I heard a story one time - Orsen Wells had a fire one time that burned all his memorabilia, everything. He came on a t.v. show and they said, 'Orsen you must be devastated.' He said, 'I feel great! Because all that stuff is off of my back!' And I understood it, ya know what I mean.

Ya, like the opposite of what you don't miss it until it's gone...now, what was I gonna say?

You don't miss it until it's gone and you've been up until 2 'o clock this morning! That's what you were gonna say.

Ha ha ha. When was the last time you saw someone naked?

Does the drummer count?

Unfortunately, yes.

I guess so. It hadn't been that long, ya know. We been on tour. I see him everyday naked. [Looks at camera] It's frightening, women, I'm tellin' ya.

I saw the drummer!

Unless the women are used to it. If they grew up on a farm or something. It's okay.

Kenney!

When was the last time you screamed sh*t, f*ck or whatever?

I'm lucky, I don't have to do a lot of screamin'. I got a job. I'm at the point of my life..people don't usually get...I don't have horrible things to do. Ya know. Um. I haven't had to scream at anybody in a long time. No.

That's good for you! You're very content, then.

I'm pretty content. Even when things are bad, me screamin' about it doesn't help much. Ya know.

Good, that's a good attitude. Very good. UM! When was the last time you laughed?

I laughed hard. We were playing a show in Ft. Worth, Texas about a week ago. There's a big like beer hall [Billy Bob's], like couple thousand people, but they have tables in the front and people are sittin' there and I had my buddy playin' saxophone. He was jumpin' around and I laughed because he weighs about 140 lbs. soppin' wet and years ago - I've known him forever - and years ago he used to get up and he'd dance on the tables. Like dance accross the bar and down the tables. And one night he did it that night and I thought, 'I'm gonna do that 'cause the girls are going crazy for him! I'll dance down the tables! They'll like me, too!' And I started dancin' on the tables but I weigh about 200 somthin' pounds and that table just went boom.

No way.

And I saw him and he started to walk out on the tables and looked at me and started laughin' and I started laughing, too.

That's cool. Um, if you could invite one famous person over for dinner, alive or dead, who would you invite?

Hm, dead or live maybe...well, I know Roy Orbison and I've always liked him. So, I would like to see him again. He'd be somebody I think would be pretty cool. I met a lot of famous people but none that really...none that really stick in my head. Famous people, they're either exciting or they're not exciting but that's just like everybody else and the batting average for famous people is about the same. Ya know, you meet a hundred not-famous-people and a few stand out and it's the same with famous ones. Paul McCartney stood out because he was so nice.

Hm.

You ever met him?

No.

Really a nice guy. I mean, like he sat down next to me at a studio. He was makin' a record, too. He sat down next to me and just started, ' How ya doin, Chris? What's goin' on?' We talked for like an hour. Just hangin' out, ya know? I kept thinkin' don't you have someone more important to talk to than me? And it was my birthday and he showed up and sang Happy Birthday. At the end of it, I pulled out of my pock, I had a penny and I said, 'Can I pay ya?' Somebody said, 'What for?' He owns Happy Birthday! Did you know that he owns that?

No, I didn't.

[Sings] "Happy birthday to you..." Now, someone's got to pay. Paul McCartney, here you go. I just made him two cents! Because he gets paid everytime you sing Happy Birthday.

I did not know that!

Yep. Okay now let's really get obscure. Nobody knows this but me. You can sing Happy Birthday - You can play the melody Happy Birthday without the words and you don't have to pay him. As long as it's not in a birthday setting. So, for example, if you had a movie and you're fishing in the movie and they're playing 'da da da da da da" that's okay because that's not copyrighted. The music. The lyrics are copyrighted. He owns that part of it.

No way! That bugger.

Paul owns everything.

Except for his own songs!

I think he probably owns our shoes.

Probably.

Probably some technicality.

No wonder that woman wants so much money after him!

She's not going to work again, I don't think.

Nooo!

You're not going to go down to the local beer hall and see her go, 'Ya, I used to be married to him. Let me take your order, I'm busy.'

You're favorite time of day?

Just when the sun's goin' down. I like dusk.

Nice.

Um, What's would be the perfect day for you?

Perfect day would be doin' somethin' with my friends. But not just like a party or drinkin' or something but makin' somethin'. I love projects. Like if I get together with my buddies in San Francisco or somethin'. I'm like the king of projects. Let's build somethin'. Let's make somethin'. I went to a party. I looked in the back and there was a dog lookin' in the window and It was cold and winter and stuff. I said, "Does that dog stay out there all the time?" They said, "Ya". 'What's that pile of wood doing out there?'. 'Nothin''. They were going to throw it away. 'You got any tools?' They said, "Ya". I went in the back and they built a doghouse.

No way!

And I stayed there the whole party and the first people looked out there look what I was doin' and then everybody was out there and everyone was having a ball building this dog a house.

Wow!

And we built him this house including - I remember this - They said this is the doorway and I said, no the doorway's got to be cut round like the cartoon doghouse. It's got to be cut round.

Cool!

Complete with painting his name vern there, 'Lucky'.

Well, Lucky got lucky.

That's right.

Cool, that's cute! Um, When was the last time you cried?

About a week ago, I got the news that my nextdoor neighbor passed away. And I was good friends with him. And he was 85. We kinda knew he was going to go. In San Francisco, my house is a small house and I live next door. Maybe 10 feet accross are the front doors. His name's Don. Everytime I'd leave the house I'd ring the bell and ask Don, 'How're you doin'? I'm goin' out. What d'ya need, you know? And when I'd come back from a trip, 'How ya doin Don?' and I'd see him in the backyard.
If I bought bananas, Don got a banana. If I got oranges, he got some. Then, he lost weight. Then, he got sick. Here's one you never heard of. You ever have an avocado milk shake?

Mm mm. I'm not to big on avocado.

It's really a subtle taste. It doesn't taste like an avocado. It just tastes creamy. Don was losing weight so I started making him avocado milkshakes. At first he went, 'What is this?!' Then he was like, 'These are good!' Just tryin' to keep weight on him. But, he got to be 85 and the last time I saw him they said he probly won't recognize and stuff and I went into the hospital. I brought my guitar figuring I could just play. I walked in, then he saw and was like [knods] he knew who I was, ya know. He recognized me.

You're a good person!

I've got a lot of rotten things I do, I'm just not tellin' ya. I set fire to the children's home. [looks at camera] Shootin' at people from on top of a high place.

Ha ha. Ok. Um, how would you describe yourself?

Very average. ha ha.

That's true.

Very average with a colorful shirt. How's that? [looks at camera]

VERY colorful shirt.

See. You know in showbusiness you either have to have tremendous talent or something flashy. So, I got the flashy shirt. [looks at camera]

[Whispers at camera] He's really talented, too.

Thank you.

You're so welcome. Um, could you name 5 songs that define your life or something? Stick out.

Uh, I like 'Only the Lonely', Roy Orbison. I remember hearing the Beatles 'I wanna hold your hand' when I was a kid and thinkin' rock n roll was pretty cool. There was an old Elvis song that goes...[plays guitar and sings] I forgot to remember to forget her, I can't seem to get her off my mind, I thought I'd never miss her, ah but I found out somehow, I think about you almost all the time...That song was a big song for me because I was in Japan and I was away from my girlfriend and I was really in love. Thinkin', missin' her. There's a song by Nino Tempo and April Stevens which nobody remembers these. They were really cool. They did this song called 'Whispering'. To me it's a big deal. I was 16 and I'd just met a girl - same girl! Fell in love and had to go off and live in another town for awhile with my mom and I bought this record at the second hand store and put on the record every night. [Singing] Whispering while you cuddle near me, Whispering so noone can hear me. It was like, love songs. I was like a 16 year old kid...'Chris, turn that record off!' Okaaaaay. Only time in my life...Have you ever done this?! You're thinkin' about someone so much, you think you see 'em?

Hm. Ok.

You always hear that in songs. I see you everywhere, I see your face and stuff. I think, you usually don't, I've never had that happen. I was driving away from the town. Driving down the road. Literally, I pictured her. I saw her.

Wow.

That's when you really got it for somebody.

You been watching Lost a lot?

No. They got something like that on there?

They costantly see people.

That's a good effect on t.v.

Never happen to me. Was that the same girl with the ring, though.

It was the same girl...Not the same girl with the ring, no. It was the same girl that other song was about but she passed away. After all these years, I called her up and said...[shakes guitar]...I got a pick in here, sorry...my mom says, "She sick. Give her a call." So I call her up and say, "Hey, I heard you're sick." "Ya, it's terminal." Just like that. "Ya, it's terminal, but I'm doin' good." [Shocked look...then looks at camer and points] We have it so good. No complaints. Ya know what I mean.

Ya. Uh huh.

If someone says to me, "You got any problems?" None! I don't want God lookin' down on me. Go to somebody else.

Okay. You're fondest memory...If you've had one.

Man, there's a lot of good memories. When I was a kid, my dad tood my brothers and I and my mom and I remember my dad and my brothers all being together. And we went to see a battleship. The battleship I didn't care about. I remember we went to go see the battleship and they had a bunch of coporations there and they gave out a little toy plastic phone or something like that. I remember everything about that day. Because my dad was always workin' and he never took us anyplace. So, later on in life I look back and what was the things my dad did. My dad worked everyday. I look back and that was the time. It was a day when we were with HIM. There was very few of those. So, that was kind of a big deal.

Cool. That's nice. Um, the last text message you received.

Ya know, I don't get very many text messages. I don't like 'em.

Me neither. I can't take them.

Ya, I do it. I get 'em sometimes. I think the last ones I got were like ya know, "Where are you?" or "Did you die?" or something. 'Cause I don't...I got a cellphone and I don't even turn in on for a week at a time. People hate me for it but...ya know, I would be on the road and singin' all day and they would want to talk on the phone. I go, "I gotta rest". When I'm not singin' and not workin' I go back and draw cartoons and lay in the room and take a bubble bath. Here's a good quote. My dad was sittin' at the house talkin'...eatin' a balogne sandwich...the phone starts ringin' and I say, should I get it? And he goes, na na, sit down. But he doesn't get up! And he just sits there. I say, well dad, don't you think you should get the phone? He looks at me eating his balogne sandwich and says, "The phone is for my convenience." That's it.

He he, That's cool.

You're doin' something and the phone rings, that's for your convenience.



***

Thanks for going to all the trouble to do that KV. I enjoyed that...it was a good read. I missed that one the first time around because it was a video (bloody dialup connection)

Thanks KV for taking the time to decipher the interview. Must have taken you a long time to write it all down. I enjoyed reading it.